Currently, I've been working on my final thesis.
Now I can feel what my friends been feelings for the last few semester. The stresses, the bored feelings, the sleepless nights, the reduced weights (or in my case the gained weights and I still sleeps at night).
Sekarang sih masih nyampe bab 2, tapi godaannyaaa...
Bener kata anak-anak, kalo ngerjain thesis itu emang harus diselingi sama hiburan. Emang agak lama sedikit, tapi dari pada lempeng ngerjain, terus ditengah-tengah ngerjain dilanda kebosenan akut soalnya dari awal udah terlalu serius ngerjain, kan jadi lebih lama lagi itu ngeluangin waktu buat menghibur dirinya.
Nyari bahan sih sejauh ini belum (dan nggak berharap) ada kendala. Justru yang bermasalah itu dosen pembimbingnya. Kapan hari udah di sms kalo mau ganti judul, tapi sampe sekarang belum dibales juga. --" Jadi, sampe sekarang tetep ngerjain dan masih nyari-nyari bahan, tapi dengan proposal baru yang masih belum disetujui.
Piye iki? :(
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Love life
It's too cliche. I'm gonna puke.
I dont know why I'm writing about this topic (but i still write it anyway). It's not like my love life is super exciting or what. It sucks. It's really sucks, you'll be yawning while you reading this sentence.
I'm going to be honest. I only have 1 ex so far, and it wasn't a pleasant relationship. There are a few guys who had a crush on me, dont mean to show off, but I dont have any feeling for them.
Since my first breakup, I find it kind of hard to be close and open to another guy. I begin to be a little bit paranoid about it. I think that's why I'm still single until now. I just had this fear that hard for me to explain. So I begin to be comfortable with my status, with my routines, my family, my friends, and my imaginary relationship with those hot actors (okay, I know!).
I used to think that having a boyfriend isnt really an important thing to have. Well, sometimes when my friends telling me stories about their crush or boyfriend, I feel that I need one too. The pressure that comes indirectly from my friends and family to find a boyfriend are the most annoying ones.
I still believe in marriage. I do want to get married someday. Even I dont know when and with who. But me and my mom already agree that we're not going to invite many people on my reception. We think we should keep it simple and intimate. Thats why we'll only invite family and close friends.
Talking about type. Like other girls, I do have my type of guy. I like responsible, smart, good looking, and witty guy. And as my mom said, the most important things when youre looking for a guy are their religion, responsibility, and kindness. Because there are 2 endings in relationship, to be separated and to be married. Thats why we should looking for the best one to spend the rest of our life together.
Dont know why, but I like older guys. I've always had a crush to guys like Marty Natalegawa and Julian Aldrin Pasha. They are smart and good looking, but the most attractive thing for me is that they both looks prestigious. Another crush? Can we count twitter crush as a real crush? Then I had crash with J*seph, F*kri, and Ditt*. Major crush with J*seph. They're witty. They always makes me smile by just reading their tweets. x) But its just a crush.
My mom sometimes says that she'd love to have a bule son in law(I dont really talk about marriage with my dad). Me? I'm okay with both, as long as we love each other and he meet the requirements.
Did I set my standards too high?
*huft*
:/
I dont know why I'm writing about this topic (but i still write it anyway). It's not like my love life is super exciting or what. It sucks. It's really sucks, you'll be yawning while you reading this sentence.
I'm going to be honest. I only have 1 ex so far, and it wasn't a pleasant relationship. There are a few guys who had a crush on me, dont mean to show off, but I dont have any feeling for them.
Since my first breakup, I find it kind of hard to be close and open to another guy. I begin to be a little bit paranoid about it. I think that's why I'm still single until now. I just had this fear that hard for me to explain. So I begin to be comfortable with my status, with my routines, my family, my friends, and my imaginary relationship with those hot actors (okay, I know!).
I used to think that having a boyfriend isnt really an important thing to have. Well, sometimes when my friends telling me stories about their crush or boyfriend, I feel that I need one too. The pressure that comes indirectly from my friends and family to find a boyfriend are the most annoying ones.
I still believe in marriage. I do want to get married someday. Even I dont know when and with who. But me and my mom already agree that we're not going to invite many people on my reception. We think we should keep it simple and intimate. Thats why we'll only invite family and close friends.
Talking about type. Like other girls, I do have my type of guy. I like responsible, smart, good looking, and witty guy. And as my mom said, the most important things when youre looking for a guy are their religion, responsibility, and kindness. Because there are 2 endings in relationship, to be separated and to be married. Thats why we should looking for the best one to spend the rest of our life together.
Dont know why, but I like older guys. I've always had a crush to guys like Marty Natalegawa and Julian Aldrin Pasha. They are smart and good looking, but the most attractive thing for me is that they both looks prestigious. Another crush? Can we count twitter crush as a real crush? Then I had crash with J*seph, F*kri, and Ditt*. Major crush with J*seph. They're witty. They always makes me smile by just reading their tweets. x) But its just a crush.
My mom sometimes says that she'd love to have a bule son in law(I dont really talk about marriage with my dad). Me? I'm okay with both, as long as we love each other and he meet the requirements.
Did I set my standards too high?
*huft*
:/
Fun Time
Me and my close friends loooves karaoke. Its one of our favorite activity besides cooking and hanging out together. It started from our early year in university until now. We dont have certain schedule to do it. But at that time, we do it, a lot.
We sing almost any kind of song, from dangdut, pop, rock, to jazz. English, Indonesian, Korean, to Japanese. And with veiled intention, sometimes we vent through our songs of choice (dont we all?).
Other activity that we loves is cooking. We manage to cook something in one of our place. Mostly my place and Cece's.
We always try to come with different theme every time we cook, like Japanese, Korean, Italian, Chinese, meat night, or sometimes we just mix them up. The girls are always cooks, while the boys watching TV or doing whatever they pleased. Sometimes, one or two of them come to help, but it only last for 15 minutes or so.
Sometimes, we only hanging out . By hanging out, i mean telling each other any story, gossip, vent, or watching TV/movies together.
Where's the fun in that?
Well, for some people it might be boring. But for us, by seeing each other and hanging out like that already give us some fun. At least thats how i feel. :p
We sing almost any kind of song, from dangdut, pop, rock, to jazz. English, Indonesian, Korean, to Japanese. And with veiled intention, sometimes we vent through our songs of choice (dont we all?).
Other activity that we loves is cooking. We manage to cook something in one of our place. Mostly my place and Cece's.
We always try to come with different theme every time we cook, like Japanese, Korean, Italian, Chinese, meat night, or sometimes we just mix them up. The girls are always cooks, while the boys watching TV or doing whatever they pleased. Sometimes, one or two of them come to help, but it only last for 15 minutes or so.
Sometimes, we only hanging out . By hanging out, i mean telling each other any story, gossip, vent, or watching TV/movies together.
Where's the fun in that?
Well, for some people it might be boring. But for us, by seeing each other and hanging out like that already give us some fun. At least thats how i feel. :p
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Bangun Pagi, Sudah Biasa (?)
Pasti ada suatu penjelasan medis kenapa saya selalu merasa kurang tidur.
Mau tidur 6 jam, 7 jam, sampe 8 jam pun, saya masih sering ngantuk kalo udah siangan dikit. Apalagi kalo udah keisi ama makan siang, makin menjadi lah ngantuknya. Bahkan kalo pagi udah terasa ngebosenin and nothing to do, saya udah ngantuk lagi.
Oke, tidur malam saya emang nggak berkualitas. Dengan polip yang saya derita, tiap malam pasti kebangun karena hidung mampet yang ujung-ujungnya gatel dan bersin-bersin. Belum lagi kalo dapet nightmare dan harus nyalain lampu dan nggak bisa tidur lagi saking parnonya. -..-"
Setiap pagi alarm pribadi saya (my parents) pasti selalu "bunyi" duluan dari pada alarm di HP. Karena semenjak saya nggak kuliah senin-jumat (kuliah cuma sabtu) jadi saya bertugas untuk buka kantor usaha fotocopy-print-scan-fax kecil kami. Sedangkan tidur siang buat saya sekarang udah hampir nggak mungkin. Kecuali pas minggu.
Mau minum susu sebelum tidur, kayanya nggak bisa. Kayanya saya alergi susu sapi (hasil tes mengatakan bahwa saya punya banyak alergi, terutama sama makanan, dll, dsb). Ntar niat tidur nyenyak malah jadi kebangun gara-gara hidung mampet dan bersin-bersin. Padahal saya bukan coffee addict lho. Dulu pas jaman masih sekolah sih masih dalam taraf normal, satu gelas per hari. Sekarang saya jarang banget minum kopi. Hampir nggak pernah malah.
There's definitely something wrong with my body system.
Lack of exercise? Might be.
Passive smoker effect? Also might be.
Too many thoughts? Nnnot really.
Too excited for the next day? Nah.
Ugh, i really need to work this out. *yawn*
Mau tidur 6 jam, 7 jam, sampe 8 jam pun, saya masih sering ngantuk kalo udah siangan dikit. Apalagi kalo udah keisi ama makan siang, makin menjadi lah ngantuknya. Bahkan kalo pagi udah terasa ngebosenin and nothing to do, saya udah ngantuk lagi.
Oke, tidur malam saya emang nggak berkualitas. Dengan polip yang saya derita, tiap malam pasti kebangun karena hidung mampet yang ujung-ujungnya gatel dan bersin-bersin. Belum lagi kalo dapet nightmare dan harus nyalain lampu dan nggak bisa tidur lagi saking parnonya. -..-"
Setiap pagi alarm pribadi saya (my parents) pasti selalu "bunyi" duluan dari pada alarm di HP. Karena semenjak saya nggak kuliah senin-jumat (kuliah cuma sabtu) jadi saya bertugas untuk buka kantor usaha fotocopy-print-scan-fax kecil kami. Sedangkan tidur siang buat saya sekarang udah hampir nggak mungkin. Kecuali pas minggu.
Mau minum susu sebelum tidur, kayanya nggak bisa. Kayanya saya alergi susu sapi (hasil tes mengatakan bahwa saya punya banyak alergi, terutama sama makanan, dll, dsb). Ntar niat tidur nyenyak malah jadi kebangun gara-gara hidung mampet dan bersin-bersin. Padahal saya bukan coffee addict lho. Dulu pas jaman masih sekolah sih masih dalam taraf normal, satu gelas per hari. Sekarang saya jarang banget minum kopi. Hampir nggak pernah malah.
There's definitely something wrong with my body system.
Lack of exercise? Might be.
Passive smoker effect? Also might be.
Too many thoughts? Nnnot really.
Too excited for the next day? Nah.
Ugh, i really need to work this out. *yawn*
Monday, May 27, 2013
Empty Twentie(s)
Is it weird that in your 20's you already feels empty?
Numb?
I mean, anything that happens in your life is like, meaningless.
No matter what happen, good things or bad things, after it's already done, then that's it. No impression.
Okay, maybe there was a slight of impression (mostly over bad things), but it only last for a few hours. Or even minutes.
Sometimes I feel empty and lame. I feel like i have no purpose and no excitement in my life.
I'm surely not "that" girl. My social life stinks. But I do have a few close friends that i could talk to about my private life, but since I quit from my old university i feel like there's a gap between us. Or maybe it's just because we're all too busy with our thesis.
If you say that's because i'm not grateful, you're wrong. In fact, i say my gratitude to God every day. I always try to be thankful for what God has gave to me, and I always say thank you to everyone who gave or did something for me.
So what's wrong with me?
Is it because of my lame life? Well, that's obvious.
What should i do?
I'm thinking of breaking my routines, but where should i begin?
I also thinking, maybe it's because i'm single. For too long. Maybe if i have a boyfriend (manfriend) then my life will be colorful.
But we shouldn't depend our happiness to someone else right?
Oh, crap!
What should i do?
:/
Numb?
I mean, anything that happens in your life is like, meaningless.
No matter what happen, good things or bad things, after it's already done, then that's it. No impression.
Okay, maybe there was a slight of impression (mostly over bad things), but it only last for a few hours. Or even minutes.
Sometimes I feel empty and lame. I feel like i have no purpose and no excitement in my life.
I'm surely not "that" girl. My social life stinks. But I do have a few close friends that i could talk to about my private life, but since I quit from my old university i feel like there's a gap between us. Or maybe it's just because we're all too busy with our thesis.
If you say that's because i'm not grateful, you're wrong. In fact, i say my gratitude to God every day. I always try to be thankful for what God has gave to me, and I always say thank you to everyone who gave or did something for me.
So what's wrong with me?
Is it because of my lame life? Well, that's obvious.
What should i do?
I'm thinking of breaking my routines, but where should i begin?
I also thinking, maybe it's because i'm single. For too long. Maybe if i have a boyfriend (manfriend) then my life will be colorful.
But we shouldn't depend our happiness to someone else right?
Oh, crap!
What should i do?
:/
Frenemy?
"You can’t be best friends without insulting each other constantly." - Anonymous
Pretty much what we do all the time.
I think my friends knows better about me nowadays than my parents. I feel easier and more open to my friends. Don't ask why. I'm lame with explaining.
I divide my friends into a few : close friends, just friends, and barely know friends.
Where's the best friend? I don't have. Eventhough i love my friends, we shared a lot of good and bad memories together, but i don't categorize them as my best friend. I call them my close friends.
But why? You can say that there's something with my insecurity. I do believe in them, but not 100%. If there's one thing i learned from life is never give 100% of your trust to someone. Not even your best friends. In my case, close friends. Plus, recent event that happened taught me more about trust.
Is jealousy between close (best) friends is acceptable?
We share things, times, thoughts and stories. We like the same things and sometimes, the same person. Those things often lead us into conflict that can't be avoided. And we compete. Oh yes we do. Only, its not really visible. But deep down inside, we know we do. Right?
To be the nicest, funniest, most stylish, smartest, up to date, most famous, caring, and what else?
To be best of the best.
Somehow its in humans blood. But how do we compete with our own close (best) friends? Do we really want to cheat to our close (best) friends? It's not easy, right?
But for me, the bottom line is, i'm willing to give in as long as we're still cool*.
*terms and conditions apply
Care to share your opinion?
;)
Pretty much what we do all the time.
I think my friends knows better about me nowadays than my parents. I feel easier and more open to my friends. Don't ask why. I'm lame with explaining.
I divide my friends into a few : close friends, just friends, and barely know friends.
Where's the best friend? I don't have. Eventhough i love my friends, we shared a lot of good and bad memories together, but i don't categorize them as my best friend. I call them my close friends.
But why? You can say that there's something with my insecurity. I do believe in them, but not 100%. If there's one thing i learned from life is never give 100% of your trust to someone. Not even your best friends. In my case, close friends. Plus, recent event that happened taught me more about trust.
Is jealousy between close (best) friends is acceptable?
We share things, times, thoughts and stories. We like the same things and sometimes, the same person. Those things often lead us into conflict that can't be avoided. And we compete. Oh yes we do. Only, its not really visible. But deep down inside, we know we do. Right?
To be the nicest, funniest, most stylish, smartest, up to date, most famous, caring, and what else?
To be best of the best.
Somehow its in humans blood. But how do we compete with our own close (best) friends? Do we really want to cheat to our close (best) friends? It's not easy, right?
But for me, the bottom line is, i'm willing to give in as long as we're still cool*.
*terms and conditions apply
Care to share your opinion?
;)
Why Can't I Be Open To My Parents?
For those who feel the same, come sit next to me.
Me and my parents.
We're not really open to each other. I want us to be like friends, like those cool parents from the movies, where we can talk about anything. But they can't. Or they wont. I know that i shouldn't compare my parents to others, but i really want us to be close.
I do want to talk about everything to them, my school, my life, my friends, my love life, everything. But i just feel like they're so judgmental and so.....parents. That's why i don't really talk a lot to them.
I just feel, it is so hard to be open and talk to them.
I had a few close friends to talk to. I feel more easy to talk to them than my parents because, well, they're my friends. They do judge sometimes, but not as judgmental as my parents. Not like my parents, i still can handle their judgment.
So, how to fix this situation?
Should i go and tell them what i want or should this thing keeps on going?
In our family, where we embrace eastern culture, democracy isn't really happening. Your opinion is legit only if they said so. If you disagree with them, then you're impolite.
Maybe freedom in eastern country is just mirage.
Help?
Me and my parents.
We're not really open to each other. I want us to be like friends, like those cool parents from the movies, where we can talk about anything. But they can't. Or they wont. I know that i shouldn't compare my parents to others, but i really want us to be close.
I do want to talk about everything to them, my school, my life, my friends, my love life, everything. But i just feel like they're so judgmental and so.....parents. That's why i don't really talk a lot to them.
I just feel, it is so hard to be open and talk to them.
I had a few close friends to talk to. I feel more easy to talk to them than my parents because, well, they're my friends. They do judge sometimes, but not as judgmental as my parents. Not like my parents, i still can handle their judgment.
So, how to fix this situation?
Should i go and tell them what i want or should this thing keeps on going?
In our family, where we embrace eastern culture, democracy isn't really happening. Your opinion is legit only if they said so. If you disagree with them, then you're impolite.
Maybe freedom in eastern country is just mirage.
Help?
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